Beware of Gummy Bears.

Gummy Bears soaked in vodka can be nasty things. Jason and I were invited to an 80’s party. Jason was in heaven since he loves the 80’s. After weeks of him contemplating what his costume would be, he decided on Boy George.

I went all out at the Thrift Store.

The night finally comes, our costumes look great, if I say so myself.

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Our friend, E, comes over, we take pictures and get to the party, nearly an hour late. Anyway, the hostess soaked some gummy bears in vodka and thank GOD I do not like gummy bears. Everyone who ate a good amount of them got sick. 😦

First it was our friend T. Jason had asked me to get his some beer at the store down the street. A couple of friends come with, I go home to grab something. We are almost back to the party when T loses it in one of the car seats. It was only 10pm!! It was totally unlike her. We get her settled and then get back to the party.

I look to find Jason and find him in the corner about to puke. *sigh* I asked him how bad it was and he said “I gotta go”. Boo. He ends up walking out the door while puking in his hat. Then in the bushes.

Fun.

So we load him up. I get him home and then decide to pick up the kids since Jason is home. I run to the baby-sitter’s house, who luckily lives in the same neighborhood. I take them back home. Put them on the couch with a movie and blankets while Jason is losing his dinner in the bathroom.

My friend, E, is still with me. We go back to the party in hopes to salvage some of the night. We get there and sit down and T’s husband starts feeling sickly. He kept telling us “I’m ready to go when you are”. He made it an hour before he had to go throw up.

So E and I end up leaving the party for good and hang out in the garage talking.

Have I mentioned how I hate puking?!

It was an “interesting” evening to say the least. And beware of gummy bears soaked in any alcohol. They are not your friends.

A post where I feel sorry for myself.

School is stressing me.

Jason’s job is stressing me.

I’m tired of feeling like a single parent more than half the time.

I’m mad at myself for not making more CLOSE friends.

Let’s start with Jason’s job. This air station is not like Jason’s previous station. He has the same duty schedule, 1 in 4 days, but he does so much more flying.

There are three different types of duty. My husband and another guy, we’ll call him Steve, are constantly getting screwed by doing the ready crew. Ready crew means they cover any SAR cases within a 24 hour time period. There are four duty sections, and there are various people who do various jobs.. from what I understand. Anyway, they need a certain amount of people who are qualified to do certain jobs on a SAR case. They are supposed to have more people that what is required, so they can alternate duty. In Jason’s particular section, a guy cannot stand ready crew at the moment.

Therefore, my husband and Steve are doing the ready crew. every. four. days.  They are supposed to alternate types of duty to give the guys a break. This has been an issue for a month, yet no one has fixed the problem, despite the command being informed. Jason and Steve need a break. They are getting burned out, and who can blame them?

It is not that I mind my husband doing his job, but I feel like him and Steve are being taken advantage of. When they go on duty, they can be sent to any number of places in the Pacific Ocean. It happens quite a bit. I never know if my husband will be home the next day or even if he will be home at the end of the week. Sometimes I don’t even get a phone call letting me know he’s in another country. I try to remember that no news is good news and nothing has happened to the plane.

It’s annoying and frustrating. And sometimes a little scary and worrisome.

It is one thing if my husband is scheduled to go on a deployment, but the unexpected deployments SUCK big donkey balls. Can my husband come home when he is supposed to? I dread him leaving for duty.

I’m in school, and am starting my upper level classes. Which means they take a lot of time and work. I NEED my husband home so I can have 2-3 hours of time, 2-3 times a week, dedicated SOLELY to school.

Another part that sucks is that I hate making plans and then breaking them.

Or my neighbors/friends going out and I am forced to stay at home. Again.

I need some adult time, that does not involve kids, cleaning, or studying. Just time to be ME. To have fun. Or even veg out, watching television.

:/

I feel like I am constantly taking care of kids, cleaning dirty bodies and butts, cleaning the house, running errands, picking up toys, studying, trying to do projects around the house. I love my life, but sometimes I need a break.

I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I hate not being able to pick up the phone and complain or celebrate with them after 5pm (or earlier!) Hawaii time.

Or how about the fact that I am scared to get super close to anyone? I have friends, but I don’t have a best friend that I see nearly every day. I am not good at reaching out to others. I hate asking for favors, for fear I might be annoying someone.

It all comes down to me being insecure about myself. Once again, I feel like I am in middle school.

😦

See, I told you this was a post where I am complaining and feeling sorry for myself.

It gets lonely talking to a 3 year old and 22 month old most of the day. Especially when the 3 year old talks to hear herself talk. 😉

I go out and talk to the neighbors, but I just miss the closeness of hanging out with a really good friend, letting our kids play while the adults talk or goof off.

Ugh. I hate feeling this way.

It has helped for me to type this out and organize my thoughts some.

Anywho, I am going to go put my “big girl panties on”, watch the Lion King with my babies. Hopefully they will go down easy at bedtime so I can stay up till 2am doing homework.

Any good thoughts or prayers sent my way would be appreciated. I’m feeling out of sorts today.

Way to go Air Station Barber’s Point!

And my husband.

A couple of weeks ago my husband was called in, to do overnight duty. We all were pretty mad since we had made plans. (Again). Anyway, he was involved in a very cool rescue where a pilot ran out of gas and had to land his Cessna plane in the water right off the coast of Hawaii.

My husband took the video that was broadcast all over the local news and CNN.

I am very proud of the air station, and was happy to hear the pilot landed safely.

So here is a link to the video. 🙂

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2011/10/08/helicopter-crash-rescue.cnn

Enjoy!

Mama’s New Ride.

We bought a new (to us) car, this weekend. An 09 Saturn Outlook XE. It’s huge (to us!), decent on gas, and perfect for our family.

So why did we buy a new car, when we just bought the Accord Hybrid 7 months ago?

We made a mistake. Which we are now paying for and this mistake will be paid off before we leave this island. After driving the Jeep Wrangler on the Big Island, we knew we needed something with a little more trunk space.

The car was too small. We should have thought about the back seat not folding down before we bought it. We couldn’t fit anything in the car. Going to the beach was a HUGE pain. We want to start camping (Well, Jason does.) and there was no way camping gear would have fit in there.  Then what about a third kid, if we want another one?

The gas mileage was not as great as we thought it would be.. we were supposed to be getting at least 25 mpg for city mileage. Which is awesome for a V6 engine. Um, not so much. We were lucky to get 20 mpg. Unless you have a true hybrid on Oahu (think Prius, Civic Hybrid) your gas mileage is just going to suck. There are not many highways on this island, and it seems like half the day you are in bumper to bumper traffic.

It is HARD to resale this car. I put it on craigslist for under blue book value, and got nothing after it being posted for 2 weeks.

We are not a small car family. My husband would complain nearly every time we drove the Honda. We planned on maybe getting small SUV, but after looking at the space inside.. there wasn’t much more room than what we had.

So we decided to go bigger. Not huge, but bigger.

Anyway. We love the Outlook. It’s roomy, drives nice, easier to park than the mini-van (A plus for me!). We downgraded with options, but really? Did we need the leather? sunroof? heated seats (Heated seats in Hawaii?!).  I will miss the smaller gas tank and little bit better gas mileage.

We feel we made a good decision for our family, and we now realize that we need a big family car. We’ll buy Jason a cheap car when we move back to the mainland, since he won’t be able to commute with his motorcycle like he can here.

(Can I tell you I was super excited because the radio tells you what song is playing? Jason just gave me “the look” and shook his head. He’s just as bad, he was excited because the rims, not hubcaps, are 18″ – can you see me rolling my eyes? lol)

Mommy Brain and The Droid X.

So, I’ve been updating our family photos, as well as the frames.( I can’t wait till I’m done painting them.. because it is going to look awesome.) I needed some more pictures and one more frame. So I go online and put in a photo order for the closest Wal-Mart. BUT they aren’t accepting online orders.. so I decide to go to the next town over.. a whole 3 miles away. Not a big deal.

We leave the house, get some Subway – where Bubby proceeds to drive me up the wall. They have no high chairs in that particular Subway and he doesn’t eat much for lunch. So once he had his 4 bites, he was done and wanted to play. He kept trying to rip the photos of veggies off the wall.

Then we set off for Wal-Mart. The address said Waipahu, ok great. I know my way around there some, but I do not remember a Wal-Mart being there. I drive around for 30 minutes trying to find this stupid Walmart. I look it up on my navigation app on my phone. It does not exist, according to Google maps.

So I pull off on the side of the road, find the address, write it down. I plug it into my Droid X, start going and then it freezes up. I have to restart the phone FOUR times. I’m in an area where I have never been before, and the stupid phone keeps freezing up. The kids are over being in the car, who can blame them after an hour and a half of me pulling over constantly, trying to find this stupid Wal-Mart.

So I go to my trusty little map and figure it out. The Waipahu Wal-mart is NOT in Waipahu, it is in Kunia. Which is 3 exits pasts the Waipahu exit.

We FINALLY get there, take Sweet Pea potty since she was doing the pee pee dance. I go to the photo counter and ask for my order…..

They can’t find it. They look it up on the computer and they couldn’t find my name.

Turns out, my smart self did not complete the order. I was one step away from completing the order process. I called my mom and had her finish it for me at the Walmart I wanted to go to..

So it took me nearly 3 hours to get 8 pictures. Eight four by six pictures. Not even big enlargements. Who knows how much gas I wasted to buy a buck fifty in pictures.

I feel so scatterbrained..

Just like when I leave the washer lid open so it runs a full cycle without actually washing the clothes.

Or not submitting a credit card payment because I forget to press the submit button. (What is with me and the submit button)

Or forgetting to call the gym to sign the kids up for gymnastics.

Gotta love Mommy Brain.

And my phone, can suck it.

Island Fever

We have got it. Island Fever stinks.

Even Sweet Pea has the fever. She cannot wait to go home to NC for Christmas. She talks about it how she can’t wait to see everyone back home.

Oahu is gorgeous. Oahu has a lot to offer, but it is not the same as home.

I miss seasons. I love watching the colors change on the trees in the fall. I love the thrill of it getting cooler, knowing that the holidays are right around the corner. I miss wearing cute sweaters and my green peacoat. I LOVE winter clothes. I cannot tell you how I was excited to buy the kids cute coats, sweaters, and one piece sweater outfits for Bubby when we surprised everyone in February.

Last year did NOT feel like Christmas. It snuck up on me, honestly. It was difficult for Jason and I. That is why we were determined to come home this year (And Coast Guard, please let him have off! He didn’t ask for any time off the past two Christmases!!) Hallelujah for finding a super deal on the internet.

I miss road trips. Kind of. I’m not a huge fan of sitting in the car for hours with 2 kids, but it was exciting to get the opportunity to see new places or visit old friends. I’m actually scared when we go to NC this Christmas. We have 2 kids who aren’t in the car longer than an hour (Usually because of traffic) and we are going to have a 4 hour drive home from the airport.

It is a lot harder and more expensive to get off an island in the middle of the Pacific. You just can’t load up the car for a weekend and drive a couple of hours to a new town. You have to pay for airline tickets, get a rental car, make a hotel reservation. The cost adds up quick.

We do want to visit the neighboring islands. Our plan was to go to the Big Island next month and stay for a few days. It’s supposed to be different than Oahu. It has an active volcano, and it is more country, rather than urban.  The temperature is cooler. The CG nixed that idea for us, hopefully September will work out. It will be expensive, but it will be a nice change for the four of us.

Sweet Pea has been begging to stay in a hotel again. Every time she sees a big building, she calls it a hotel and wants to go there. Most of the time the buildings are apartments, but try telling her that!

I’m hoping to visit Maui in the winter. I want to see some whales!!!! I have talked about whales since we got here. We went hiking several times to go whale watching and saw NOTHING. So it is either go to Maui (where you can see them everywhere in the winter) or go on a whale watching cruise. Maui sounds more fun.

Oh, and I miss Chick-Fil-A. And Cracker Barrel. And North Carolina Bar-be-Que. Sweet Tea at every restaurant. I miss Olive Garden a little bit, I’m tired of making my own zuppa toscana. It’s much easier to go buy it at the restaurant. I miss my grandpa’s lima beans that we always ate on Halloween, I can’t get mine to taste as good as his.

We love Oahu. Well, the kids and I love it. I just wish it was not so far away from everything familiar. I have nothing against Oahu, I would feel this way if we were stationed in Kodiak (I would probably be going nuts in Kodiak by now), where we had a very strong possibility of getting stationed.  I am very thankful we are here, instead of somewhere I know we would have been bored and miserable. Or somewhere that wasn’t safe.

I could do without the centipedes though. They scare the crap out of me.

Where else can you go to the park and it look like this:

It’s much better than our previous station. The big park there.. was in the middle of a landfill. NO JOKE.  It smelled like flowers and sunshine in the summer. ha.

Anyway. Not much I can do except make the best out of the situation. It would be awesome if my family could come visit more often. I know it is hard to get off work though.. at least long enough to make the visit worth it.

It’s past my bedtime and I am rambling. Let’s just end this post.

The End.

A home church.

Finding a church can be difficult for any family. When you are a military family or a family that moves around a lot, it is even more difficult. You don’t have the familiar faces from home. You don’t have the recommendations from trusted family or friends, who know what your preferences are for a church.

Every church has their own traditions, their own ways of doing things, and their interpretations of the Bible.

Jason and I want a church that is not too big, but not small. We need a church that has good children programs and programs for Jason and I to get involved in as well.

The problems we are running into is that the bigger churches don’t feel….. welcoming. I feel like I am watching a concert or show. I don’t feel involved.

I like contemporary praise and worship, but when everything feels SO rehearsed, it does not feel genuine to me. I grew up in a church, if the worship leader was feeling like singing the chorus again, they did it. If they wanted to sing a song that wasn’t on the “list”, they did.

Recently, I read this blog post from Rachel Held Evans. Most of what she stated was what I’ve been trying to say for years.

It is one of the reasons we have only checked out a couple of churches here in Hawaii. All of them are larger, so it is hard to feel welcome. Our past experiences in North Carolina does not help matters. We did find a great church, it just took a while. But two experiences stand out to me, and still make me upset or weirded out.

The first was when we visited a church just down the road from our house. We got there, and everything felt so rehearsed, but I let it go. Then, I noticed the timer. The pastor told everyone to take a couple of minutes to greet everyone. And literally, two minutes was put on the clock. And everyone was sitting at the end of the two minutes. I told Jason I had to leave. It just felt too rehearsed, too practiced. Everything was a countdown.

The second experience was at a much bigger church. I was leery, but I figured what the heck? So we go there and everyone immediately asks me about taking Sweet Pea to the church nursery. It was literally “Hi, welcome to ______, would you like to take your baby to the nursery?” And my answer, was a big fat, NO. She was 9 months old, I was in a church where I knew NO ONE. Churches aren’t known for doing background checks on their nursery workers, so I did not feel comfortable with it. *

(*I worry more about this than the average mother, I am sure. BUT While Jason and I were dating, I went to his church. And his church was broken up because they had a KNOWN child molester in their congregation who had regular access to the children. The pastor and his wife were the only ones aware of his background, yet decided not to share it. To say that the parents were very upset was an understatement. This is why I don’t do church nurseries on my first visit. Call me paranoid, but I have to make sure they have background checks. )

So we go in this big church. Sweet Pea is literally the ONLY child in the church. Most people were giving us dirty looks. We felt very uncomfortable. (I grew up in churches where you kids stayed through the singing and other stuff, then when the pastor started preaching, we had children’s church.) They were having praise and worship, so it wasn’t like she would have disrupted anyone, unless she started screaming at the top of her lungs. Sweet Pea was a very quiet, very easily entertained baby, so the dirty looks baffled us. I prayed that she would start fussing so we would have an excuse to walk out the door. She did when the pastor came on stage, and we quickly left. Thankfully.

Big churches make me worry. I worry we won’t feel welcome or be able to get involved. I worry we are seen as just a number and not as people who want and need to go to church.

We are trying out a new church in the morning. I pray that it is a good fit. We need a home church. This church is in a school auditorium, and that will be a new one for us.

We’ll see how it goes, I’ve got butterflies. And if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

Sweet Pea-isms

Three year olds are so funny to be around. I am going to try and record all she says to me and put it down in the blog. One day I could put it in a scrapbook. I can’t wait to hear the things Bubby comes up with either. 🙂

The other day, I told her that I wasn’t feeling too hot she replied “Well turn the fan up then!”

She was sitting on the couch the other day, and she said – “My tummy is rumbling. You know what it is telling me? I’m hungry!”

We were driving to her friend’s CT house one day and it was really cloudy. Clouds were just hitting the mountains. The road we take is up in the mountains, off of H-3 to Kaneohe Bay. The view is GORGEOUS. (Google it, I can’t find a picture on my computer). Anyway, Sweet Pea was very concerned because the “clouds were falling!” It looked similar to this…

Cloudy Day on Pali Highway

I had to explain to her that the clouds were just rain. She was very relieved after the explanation.

Sweet Pea loves to throw balls and hit balls with her wiffle bat. (She’s really good at it for a 3 year old) We were having a discussion with some friends about what sports our kids would do when they are older. Jason chimes in – our girl is going to play football! K says “yeah, right. I’m sorry, your girl is going to be a cheerleader or something!” Jason shrugs it off, laughing. Then throws the ball to Sweet Pea, who proceeds to sing “We are playyyyyyyinnngg baseball! I’m going to be a baseball plllllllllayer.” We all cracked up.

Sweet Pea loves to make up songs as we are going about our day. “I’m brushing my teeth, you are brushing your teeth, let’s go eat breakfast!” I love it.

And finally.

I was having a rough day, and Sweet Pea says “Mommy!”, like she is going to demand something to eat or that she needs to go potty. So I snap back “What?!” She says “Iwanted to let you know you are beautiful, mommy, just like me”. Seriously – could she get any sweeter?! Even if she did call herself beautiful! lol

She does that a lot, she just randomly says “I love you so much Mommy!” She might whine a lot some days, but she is one of the sweetest kids, ever. She doesn’t hesitate to give any of us cuddles, and will try to hug her brother when he is upset.

On days where I question myself, why do I want to stay home with the kids? I remember the sweetest, funniest stuff I would miss if I wasn’t around to hear them.  I love my life.