Beware of Gummy Bears.

Gummy Bears soaked in vodka can be nasty things. Jason and I were invited to an 80’s party. Jason was in heaven since he loves the 80’s. After weeks of him contemplating what his costume would be, he decided on Boy George.

I went all out at the Thrift Store.

The night finally comes, our costumes look great, if I say so myself.

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Our friend, E, comes over, we take pictures and get to the party, nearly an hour late. Anyway, the hostess soaked some gummy bears in vodka and thank GOD I do not like gummy bears. Everyone who ate a good amount of them got sick. 😦

First it was our friend T. Jason had asked me to get his some beer at the store down the street. A couple of friends come with, I go home to grab something. We are almost back to the party when T loses it in one of the car seats. It was only 10pm!! It was totally unlike her. We get her settled and then get back to the party.

I look to find Jason and find him in the corner about to puke. *sigh* I asked him how bad it was and he said “I gotta go”. Boo. He ends up walking out the door while puking in his hat. Then in the bushes.

Fun.

So we load him up. I get him home and then decide to pick up the kids since Jason is home. I run to the baby-sitter’s house, who luckily lives in the same neighborhood. I take them back home. Put them on the couch with a movie and blankets while Jason is losing his dinner in the bathroom.

My friend, E, is still with me. We go back to the party in hopes to salvage some of the night. We get there and sit down and T’s husband starts feeling sickly. He kept telling us “I’m ready to go when you are”. He made it an hour before he had to go throw up.

So E and I end up leaving the party for good and hang out in the garage talking.

Have I mentioned how I hate puking?!

It was an “interesting” evening to say the least. And beware of gummy bears soaked in any alcohol. They are not your friends.

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I’m over it.

This is my blog and I need to complain.

I’m tired of not being healthy. This past month of my life has sucked for me, health-wise. Having surgery for the cyst that caused internal bleeding sucked. Then I got sick with a cold, not a big deal but it caused a sore throat. This was three weeks ago. I thought it was getting better so I get excited to start working out. I make it one day because another cyst burst that night. *sigh* And when a cyst burst it causes a lot of pain and discomfort over the 2-3 days. After I get over THAT my throat still isn’t better.. I finally go to the ER last night because I am in tears just trying to swallow or talk. I’ve taken a whole bottle of motrin in the past two weeks.

I have strep and got a lovely shot in the butt, so I should be feeling better tomorrow or Saturday. And hopefully that will be it.

I am tired of my son fighting me every time I turn around. He is a typical two year old boy. Jason and I are constantly choosing what battles we should and shouldn’t fight. It has been a long week where sleep battles have been the worst. This is a battle I told Jason I’m not fighting this week.

I’m tired of not having a clean house. I’ve been under the weather/sick/laid up for a freakin month. I have a couple of days where I get it back to where I want it and then 3-4 days where I feel like crap. I want to be able to stay on top of things like usual.

I’m over loved ones being hurt or going through difficult times.

I’m tired of our finances taking a hit. We have had thousands of dollars in unexpected bills the past 2-3 months. I am grateful that we haven’t had to drop into our savings much, but I want to start putting money back in savings again. Or maybe go on a vacation this year.

I’m over not having any energy and little motivation.

I am grateful for my wonderful husband. My kids who can always make me laugh. Good Friends and an awesome family. I have a lot of things to be thankful for, but I just want things to go back to “normal” for a couple of months.

Picture Post

Here are the photos from April. 🙂 A lot of them were taken from my new Iphone. Woot!!

A post where I feel sorry for myself.

School is stressing me.

Jason’s job is stressing me.

I’m tired of feeling like a single parent more than half the time.

I’m mad at myself for not making more CLOSE friends.

Let’s start with Jason’s job. This air station is not like Jason’s previous station. He has the same duty schedule, 1 in 4 days, but he does so much more flying.

There are three different types of duty. My husband and another guy, we’ll call him Steve, are constantly getting screwed by doing the ready crew. Ready crew means they cover any SAR cases within a 24 hour time period. There are four duty sections, and there are various people who do various jobs.. from what I understand. Anyway, they need a certain amount of people who are qualified to do certain jobs on a SAR case. They are supposed to have more people that what is required, so they can alternate duty. In Jason’s particular section, a guy cannot stand ready crew at the moment.

Therefore, my husband and Steve are doing the ready crew. every. four. days.  They are supposed to alternate types of duty to give the guys a break. This has been an issue for a month, yet no one has fixed the problem, despite the command being informed. Jason and Steve need a break. They are getting burned out, and who can blame them?

It is not that I mind my husband doing his job, but I feel like him and Steve are being taken advantage of. When they go on duty, they can be sent to any number of places in the Pacific Ocean. It happens quite a bit. I never know if my husband will be home the next day or even if he will be home at the end of the week. Sometimes I don’t even get a phone call letting me know he’s in another country. I try to remember that no news is good news and nothing has happened to the plane.

It’s annoying and frustrating. And sometimes a little scary and worrisome.

It is one thing if my husband is scheduled to go on a deployment, but the unexpected deployments SUCK big donkey balls. Can my husband come home when he is supposed to? I dread him leaving for duty.

I’m in school, and am starting my upper level classes. Which means they take a lot of time and work. I NEED my husband home so I can have 2-3 hours of time, 2-3 times a week, dedicated SOLELY to school.

Another part that sucks is that I hate making plans and then breaking them.

Or my neighbors/friends going out and I am forced to stay at home. Again.

I need some adult time, that does not involve kids, cleaning, or studying. Just time to be ME. To have fun. Or even veg out, watching television.

:/

I feel like I am constantly taking care of kids, cleaning dirty bodies and butts, cleaning the house, running errands, picking up toys, studying, trying to do projects around the house. I love my life, but sometimes I need a break.

I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I hate not being able to pick up the phone and complain or celebrate with them after 5pm (or earlier!) Hawaii time.

Or how about the fact that I am scared to get super close to anyone? I have friends, but I don’t have a best friend that I see nearly every day. I am not good at reaching out to others. I hate asking for favors, for fear I might be annoying someone.

It all comes down to me being insecure about myself. Once again, I feel like I am in middle school.

😦

See, I told you this was a post where I am complaining and feeling sorry for myself.

It gets lonely talking to a 3 year old and 22 month old most of the day. Especially when the 3 year old talks to hear herself talk. 😉

I go out and talk to the neighbors, but I just miss the closeness of hanging out with a really good friend, letting our kids play while the adults talk or goof off.

Ugh. I hate feeling this way.

It has helped for me to type this out and organize my thoughts some.

Anywho, I am going to go put my “big girl panties on”, watch the Lion King with my babies. Hopefully they will go down easy at bedtime so I can stay up till 2am doing homework.

Any good thoughts or prayers sent my way would be appreciated. I’m feeling out of sorts today.

Happy Halloween from The Flintstones.

So, the kids dressed up as Pebbles and Bam Bam. 🙂 I modified one of Jason’s shirts and he put on a tie I got at Goodwill.

The kids were adorable, and we got lots of compliments on Bubby’s costume. He made the perfect Bam Bam. Sweet Pea loved her costume and modeled whenever she could.

The costumes were really cheap. I think I spent 12-14 bucks to make them both. My mom came up with the idea of using a pillowcase and I modified it a bit. Super easy, super cheap.

So here are our Halloween pictures. 🙂 We had a great time trick or treating and then eating with the “K” family. 🙂

PCS season… and making friends…

PCS or Permanent Change of Station, season is upon us. It is a time when most military families are transferring to their new stations. It is unbelievable to me that it has been a year since we left North Carolina.

A year.

Some days it feels like the time has flown, while others (especially when we were in a hotel for 60 days!) seem to drag and drag.

I look back at pictures and realize how young our little ones were. Especially sweet Bubby. He was just a BABY. And now he is a toddler exploring, walking, talking. Sweet Pea has grown from being a toddler to a little kid.

What happened to my babies?

It feels like we JUST got here to Hawaii. Like just got settled in our home, even though we’ve been living in this house for ten months now.

I still have not made many close friends. It sucks to think I’ve been here a year and haven’t tried to put myself out there. I don’t even know my neighbors that well. Who are all super nice and friendly. :/ I’m just not good at meeting new people. I’ve often been told I give off a “bitchy” or snotty vibe.

So it scares me to meet others, because I am shy, I’m quiet, and it takes a while for me to open up to someone. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. I can be bitchy, but I am a genuinely nice person. I try not to make snap judgements, and I hate for people to make snap judgements with me.

Anyway, I’ve now put myself (and my kids) in a position where we don’t have many friends in an area where I need to make friends. I don’t live 3 hours from family anymore. I can’t call them if an emergency happens and expect them to be here in a reasonable amount of time to help me.

I miss having a close circle of friends.

I need to stop being scared of what others might think of me. If they don’t like me, then who cares? The feeling is probably mutual.

I guess being a military wife forces me to look at my insecurities. Which in most ways, I am thankful. It has helped me become a strong, independent person. I know I can handle most situations that are thrown my way. To worry about the big things and try not to sweat the small stuff.

But I still have the whole insecure thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m in middle school or something. Anyone have a magic potion for self confidence?

Happy Anniversary!

We did have some fun times the past few weeks.

Jason and I have now been married for eight years!

Some days it feels like we’ve been married forever. 😉

Some great friends pushed us out of the door (Thank you J and K!) and took over the kids. We got to go parasailing. It was great. We even went to dinner by ourselves too. It was only at Ruby Tuesday’s, but hey, we were free from kids. (There aren’t too many places you can go when you hubby is wearing a wet t-shirt because he forget to bring an extra outfit!)

We chose the “Xtreme” package. We went up 1,000 feet. It was awesome. Not scary. It felt like being on a really tall swing.

The water was a little rough. We had 5 other couples that were on the boat. So sitting in a boat, barely moving made me a little bit seasick. Which, honestly, shocked me. I grew up boating. I guess because the waves were really rough that day. (I’m so ashamed to admit that! haha!)

Anyway, it was gorgeous. The water was SO blue. I wish I had remembered to put my memory card in our waterproof camera so I could show you the view we saw. But I do have pictures of us on the ride.

If you ever get the opportunity to go parasailing.. do it!

So very thankful.

I would just like to say, I am so very thankful for my family.

I am so happy and thankful to God, that we are healthy and happy.

I’m thankful we have a roof over our heads.

For the food in our pantry.

I’m thankful that Congress is going to put aside their petty crap for a little while, so people can be paid for their work.

For great friends.

I’m very thankful for the internet and cell phones. I would be lost without them. It is great that friends and family are a phone call or Skype call away.

Even though Facebook can cause major drama, I am thankful to use it to keep me connected to nearly everyone in my life.

I’m thankful that we can provide well for our children.

I am thankful for the decisions I have made, because they make me who I am today.

I don’t think we (people in general) stop and think about how good we actually have it. We get so wrapped up in things going on in our lives, and sometimes we need a little perspective to put our priorities back in order.

What are you thankful for?

I want my own jet

Yes, I live in “paradise”, but its still hard some days.

(NO. I have not fallen off the face off the earth, just haven’t felt like blogging. I really want to to start back. It helps me keep track of all the babies are doing.)

We went back home to visit family in February. We actually pulled off a HUGE surprise. No one knew we were coming except my sisters. It was great. All four us were happy to be back home. I think Jason was the happiest to be back. He is the one struggling the most with living here.

My husband. He’s an odd one. He hates the water. The beach. The sand. And we live in HAWAII. He’s in the COAST GUARD. Figure that one out.

So, enjoying the beautiful beaches? We are not. It gets hard to go somewhere, where your husband gets all freaked out with the sand. Or is scared that a shark is going eat him when we are knee deep in the water with the kids. (Can you see my eyes rolling?!) But, he said he would make more of an effort to not complain so the kids and I can enjoy ourselves. He tried surfing, and loved it. (yes, Jason, you said you loved it) He won’t do it again. I think he is scared to admit that he could enjoy doing something at the beach. 😉

We are enjoying the beautiful scenery. We enjoy going hiking, and try to get out the house every weekend to do something with the kids. That is a wonderful thing about Hawaii. There is always something to do or a new place to explore. We are taking our time exploring so we can avoid “island fever.”

Speaking of island fever. I HATE being so far away from family and friends. I hate that I am going to miss my sister’s wedding. I hate that the kids can’t have a close relationship with their cousins. Yes, we call and skype, but it was so nice for the kids to play with their cousins. In person. I want to go home for Christmas.

Ugh.

And we got a great deal on airfare last time. It cost us a whole $1200 to go to NC. I got a great deal on priceline and used our reward points with our Discover card. Now flights have gone up SO much. It would cost us three grand to go home. IT SUCKS. That does not include our rental car or gas costs.

Anyway. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I haven’t attempted to make a lot of friends here. It just makes me sad when they leave or we leave. It is my own fault.

So, yeah.

Next time I post, I’ll update everyone on the kids. They are thriving here. And speaking of kids, they are begging me to feed them.

The littlest things..

The weirdest, sometimes smallest things can make me so homesick.

Tonight? We had a rain storm, like an actual rain STORM. Not what I call Hawaii-raining – where it drizzles (barely) for 10 minutes and its gorgeous again. I could actually HEAR the rain hit the house.

It made me want to go home, badly.

I miss seasons. I hate that I’m missing autumn.

I LOVE autumn.

I love winter clothes.

(Why the heck do stores in Hawaii put winter clothes out? I see cute sweater or pea coats. And don’t get me started on the cute winter kid outfits. *sigh*)

Or I get a text message with a picture of my beautiful niece. And I miss my family.

It makes me sad that the kids are so far away from family.

But my mama is coming in October!!!

I miss having friends where I can just completely be myself. If I want to be a total goofball – I could. If I am in a hormonal, cranky mood – my friends would tell me to get over myself and make me laugh.

Don’t get me wrong I have a couple of really good friends here, but I miss everyone else.

I don’t want to make friends here, because I don’t want to leave good friends again. It sounds really dumb, but we’ve had to leave friends or friends have had to leave us at our previous two stations. And it SUCKS. But we also know that we’ll just click whenever we see each other again. That’s the good, and bad, of being a military family.

The other part of me wants to make more friends because I NEED to get out of this house more.

Ugh.

Hopefully half my posts won’t be whining about going back home. I really do like it here, it is just taking some time to adjust.

Now to put the cranky baby to SLEEP.