I’ll take care of you… unless

Unless you vomit.

If someone is bleeding, bring it on. I want to get a look at the injury. I’m fascinated with that stuff, one of the reasons I wanted to go in the medical field. The only time I get worried is when it involves my children, so please kids, don’t bleed. (Mommy doesn’t want to check out a wound to see if I can see your muscle or bone.)

If you vomit, I will not rub your back. (Unless maybe your my child.)

I will not clean your vomit from any surface.

I will run far, far away to avoid the smell and sound. If I can’t run, I will probably squeeze my eyes shut, sing really loud and try to plug my nose and my ears at the same time. And possibly be crying.

I HATE vomiting. Well, maybe, not hate it. I have an irrational fear of starting to puke and never stopping.

I haven’t puked since I was December of 2002. That’s how much I hate puking. I remember that last time I puked. That’s sad, that I know when I puked last.

I have no idea how I made it through both of my pregnancies without puking. I was SO queasy and nauseous. Constantly. It was horrible with Sweet Pea. I’ve been seasick, yet I will lay down in the boat or my husband’s lap and tell myself, “you are a huge wimp. You are NOT going to puke right now. SUCK IT UP!”

I’ve been drunk, and still won’t puke. Actually, I’ve never drunk so much where I’ve felt nauseous..maybe it is that fear of puking that makes me hold back when I actually do drink more than a glass of wine?

I guess I would rather feel queasy for 2-3 hours, or more, than puke one time and feel 1000 times better.

I didn’t say it made sense.

Anyway.

There was a short and weird virus that hit our household last week. First Sweet Pea had it. She wouldn’t eat, but that’s not saying anything, eating has become a small battle in her house. Then I asked her if she wanted to play outside and she told me “NO!!”. That made my radar go off, check her forehead and she is burning up. She has a fever of 101. And that was the only symptom, besides being tired and grumpy.

Then, of course, a day later, Bubby starts acting off, I check his temperature, it’s 102! He is miserable. He seems to have been hit harder with it, all he wanted to do was lay on top of me.

That night, he puked upstairs. Thankfully, I was not around for this and Jason was the one who saw it. (he puts that kids to bed)

And to tell you the truth, I was scared to get in bed with my son. I was scared he was going to puke.

Which he did!!

He woke me up at 4am out of a sound sleep, he was gagging in his sleep. I immediately freak the heck out. I bounce out of bed, going, “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Help me. He’s going to puke.”

I am torn, should I stay with him and try to catch the puke? Get a towel, but will I make it back in time? What if he pukes in the bed?  Is he going to choke since he is still sleeping? At this point, I am almost crying for fear that I’m going to have to clean up puke. Not that my son feels bad, but because I have to clean up his puke.

*sigh* I am a horrible mother.

It wasn’t that bad though, I run to get a towel, I hear him gagging then swallow the puke down. (Holy Moly). I almost lost it.

What the heck am I going to do if a stomach virus hits this house? Well, I know what I would do.. I would go far, far away, and let Jason handle it. (Just kidding! Kind of.) But what if Jason isn’t home to help me. Does some mother instinct kick in to help the fear of puke?!

I honestly prayed that my kids would get the stomach of steel from me. That was one of my hopes when I was pregnant. I’m dead serious. I don’t remember having stomach viruses, I know my sister did. I was the sickly one who kept getting strep and mono.. she would get a stomach virus once a year. I would rather have strep throat.

Please tell me I’m not the only mom out there who has this same fear.

And to my friends, family, acquaintances, if you ever have a stomach virus float through your home, know that I will not be visiting you and your home till I know it is safe.

P.S. If you hate vomiting too, don’t google “no puking symbol”. All I can see in my head are images of people puking. God help me.

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One thought on “I’ll take care of you… unless

  1. Oh, you are so not alone in the depth of your horror over puking. It is truly awful to be the puker but to have to clean up someones puke, especially if it is your children and you are supposed to be all maternal and kind, is pretty much impossible. Give me pink eye, lice, or strep but please not the stomach flu!

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