All I want to say is…
I DON’T WANNA GO!!
Please don’t tell me its ok, its a once in a lifetime thing. I know these feelings are normal. I’m starting to get anxious.
Part of me is beyond ready to get my babies settled into their new home, wherever that home may be… Their schedules are all out of whack, we haven’t slept in the same place for more than a week (LONG story, maybe I will share it one day), and its just been rough. I’m ready to start our new chapter already! I want my stuff back. I want to decorate a new house.
The other, bigger part of me doesn’t want to go. I want to settle down. Here. With my family. Where Sweet Pea can play with her cousin as much as she wants (they get along so well!). Where my mom or dad or sister or whoever can see the kids whenever they want. I could go on a date with my husband without bringing a baby or two with us. We could get together for dinner with the family anytime we pleased.
I thought this month would be a good thing, put in some quality time. But I think I might have made it harder on my little girl. She loves seeing everyone. She asks us everyday to see someone in the family. And we are taking it away from her. And she’s too little to understand WHY.
I’m not worried about our little man, he’s too young to understand anything that’s going on. I’m sad family won’t get to see his big milestones, but I am grateful that he won’t know the difference.
I feel like I am going to break my little girl’s heart.